Is there anything more nerve-wracking and often awkward as a first date? Especially if you are meeting for the very first time, there can be a lot of issues especially forming personal boundaries and knowing that your date is going to respect these. There has been a lot in the news recently about the importance of these boundaries in keeping safe and feeling happy. No one should have to put up with a date that makes them feel uncomfortable, so here are the experts’ tips on keeping safe and feeling comfortable on a first date.
Download a safety app
Of course, none of us ever want to use these sorts of apps, but it is much more useful to have them and never need them than regret not having downloaded them. There are plenty of options out there, such as uSafeUS which can send you a fake text or phone call from a friend or parent to give you a good excuse to escape.
Keep it short and sweet
For the first date, plan something short, that will be around an hour in public, during the day. That way, if the date is going badly, or you feel uncomfortable, you are safe and only have to deal with it for an hour at most. If it goes well, then you will leave him wanting more, and you can make the next date a bit longer.
Prioritise your feelings
All too often we do things that make us unhappy or uncomfortable because we are worried that we might upset the other person, or make them feel awkward. When it comes to dating, it is so important to make sure that you are your top priority. That doesn’t mean that you should treat your date badly, but if they do not respect your boundaries, don’t feel that you have to be entirely polite and not rock the boat.
Plan your out
Before you even head out on your date, plan how you are going to get home. Are you going to drive yourself there and not drink? Are you close to the train station? Do you have money for a taxi? For a first date, don’t rely on the other person to take you home, because if it gets awkward, you will feel trapped into staying so that you can get home.
If you don’t know the person, try to avoid dates where you will be entirely alone. A restaurant or a coffee date, for example, is ideal as there will be plenty of people around if things go sour. Heading to someone’s apartment for a first date is a lot riskier as you will be alone with no one to watch out for you.
It’s okay to leave
Remind yourself that you have no obligation to this date and you can leave whenever you feel you need to. Again, there is no need to be unnecessarily rude, for example, if your date is nice but just a little dull, however, if they make you feel unsafe or uncomfortable, it is okay just to get up and leave.
In an ideal world, no one would ever have to worry about these sorts of things, but at least for now it is a reality, so try to keep your safety and comfort in mind.