Whether you meet someone on an online dating app or through a friend, it can be so difficult to size someone up immediately, as we all tend to be the best versions of ourselves – at least at the start of dating! It can be frustrating not to know exactly where a relationship is going, whether they are a keeper or not worth your time. Here are some signs that you might have found a good one!
Things aren’t easy, but talking through them is
Relationships aren’t supposed to be perfect, not even the best ones. However, any issues should be able to be talked about honestly, and you should feel comfortable disagreeing with your partner in a respectful way. If there is not mutual respect, even with differing opinions, then they are not the one. However, if they are willing to talk through issues with you and share as much as you share with them, then they could be a keeper!
You appreciate each other’s boundaries
Boundaries are so important, and they can be difficult to find, but once you have established them, your partner should respectfully appreciate your parameters. This involves open and honest communication (do you sense a pattern here!) and trusting that your partner can respect these, and you will do the same for them. Overstepping your boundaries once might be a genuine accident, but if you give them the benefit of the doubt and they do the same thing again, despite knowing how you feel, then that’s not okay!
You become a better version of you, not a whole other person
When you are in a healthy relationship, you should still feel like yourself. If you become insecure or unhappy, then they are not the one for you. A good supportive partner should encourage you to be the best version of you that you can be, but not an entirely different person. For example, they may encourage you to pursue your dreams and write the book you’ve been planning for years, and that’s great, but they shouldn’t encourage you to join the gym because they think you are overweight. It is important to remember that you are two individual people and should still spend time with your friends and enjoy your own hobbies too.
They get you
If you are a person who tells a lot of jokes, it helps if they are someone with a similar sense of humor who loves to laugh with you. If you are all about traveling, you should be with someone who will either join you on your adventures or if it is not for them, will happily wave you off at the airport and encourage you to have fun still. If your job, or family is especially important to you, they will understand and respect that, even if they don’t have the same priorities. Although having things in common is useful, you won’t have everything in common, and it is these differences, and how your partner reacts to them, that will tell you if you have a future.
None of us can predict the future, but hopefully, these tips will help you see whether you are wasting your time with someone who is no good for you, or you have found your match and should keep working at it.